"Whenever you come to a 'Y' in the road always remember that you have a third choice of path: And that is right down the middle, where no one has gone before."

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people."

"What an artist perishes with me!"

"Politics is no exact science."

"Anyone with more than 365 pair of shoes is a pig."

"If you don't show up at a party, people will assume you're fat."

"There is nothing more unequal, than the equal treatment of unequal people."

"If you marry you will regret it. If you do not marry you will regret it. If you marry or do not marry, you will regret it."

"Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fool reform, and mortal men lay hold on heaven."

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

"Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes."

"To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave as the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and keep absolutely sober."