"Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years."

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."

"This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible."

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."

"Do not spit in the well - you may be thirsty by and by."

"I have learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to them."

"It was built against the will of the immortal gods, and so it did not last for long."

"If voters don't have a stomach for me, they can get one of those blow-dried guys."

"Resentment is anger directed at others--at what they did or did not do."

"Old houses mended, Cost little less than new before they a€?re ended."