"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

"I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world."

"If God dropped acid, would he see people?"

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."

"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!"

"What's another word for Thesaurus?"

"People will forget what you did, people will forget what you said, but they won't forget the way you made them feel."

"It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him."

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."

"Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein."

"There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in which you discover your father is a man--with human flesh."