"No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by."

"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man."

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."

"Life is not what one lived, but rather what one remembers, and how it is remembered to tell the tale."

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

"Here's to our wives and sweethearts - may they never meet."

"THE DISAPPOINTED MAN SPEAKS.--I sought great human beings, I never found anything but the APES of their ideal."

"It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give happiness."

"In order to improve the mind, we ought less to learn, than to contemplate."

"You can't win at everything, but you can laugh at everything."